Feel the Love

Just this morning I was reflecting on when the social distance and lack of human contact would have brought upon times of loneliness in many people….myself included.

Even though I am not a super social individual, don’t go often to parties…mostly because I don’t enjoy the heavy drinking that goes with it, I still love human connections and love spending time in  good company of other fellow human beings. 

How can a lonely wolf become more social?

How can a lonely wolf feel still a connection with the rest of the pack out there?

….as soon as I started feeling a sense of isolation from others the magic happened!!!

….the phone rang and it was someone I have not seen or spoken to since I stopped working at House of Gaia. Someone who have never called me before!

Took me a while to understand who it was on the phone at first…my brain being too connected with the back pain was really struggling to recognise the voice and the name on the other side…till finally the fog was lifted and I knew.

This person called me, just like that, out of the Blue, to check that I was ok, and to let me know that I was missed a lot, and that I was in his thoughts and prayers.

I felt so blessed and I feel, that was the answer that came from the universal ether where all our thoughts are stored.

It was a message for me, not to worry because the love is still with me.

So many things to feel grateful for.

Aim for what you really want

We think we have a lot to teach our children and when we do that we miss out the abundance of lesson they are presenting us with.

Recently I have been listening to a few interviews with Sadhguru on  YouTube and, he often reminds the audience that the difference between adults and children is that we adults have been here a little longer and had acquired a few survival tips that we can pass on to the children, all else is stuff we have absorbed from other people (family, teachers, friends, society etc.) and from our own life experiences and these things are not the ultimate truth neither they represent a true reality that we should pass on to our children.

My own upbringing and all the information that is stored in my mind, it is not representing who I really am at all. They are habits and believes learnt from my surroundings of which lots of them are a tremendous burden for me to carry, and they have stopped me from pursuing the things I really wanted in life.

I, like the majority of people, am caught up in this net of stored information that now I have to work hard to delete, dislodge and totally remove from my mind in order to find a way forward that is truly open to all possibilities that life offers without limiting myself or holding back.

So what my parents, schools, culture, religion, society taught me from birth and up to my late teens produced a very unhappy human being that had to then go out searching for her true self. In order to find myself I have spent the last 30 years of my life looking at ways of clearing the negative teachings that the adults passed on to me, believing that they knew better as a consequence of their own lives experiences. 

Then I became mother myself, and there I was, making the same mistakes, because they were learnt behaviours accumulated during my time as a child. 

Fortunately, the clearing work started a few years before motherhood happened, helped me at least to notice and see my own negative patters, and correct them, often after I had already spoken or acted. It was always done with the best loving intentions and desire to protect my child but nonetheless I caught myself repeating and copying what others did to me. 

I am still on the path of learning how to be better and let my son explore life in the way he wants and chooses to. 

One thing I did differently though! … I’ve been fully aware of the wisdom that my son was embodying since the moment he was lifted out of my belly, I saw it, and his father saw it too, in his deep, and quiet eyes and in his gentle cry.

We, the parents, are truly blessed!

Since he was born, he has been a great teacher for us. A child full of wisdom and I was open to listen and learn from the knowledge he carried with him the moment he arrived. This, I did differently, and this helped me correct any mistakes I unconsciously did.

This week he has taught me by example an important lesson I’ve been lulling upon for some time without actually applying it fully to my own life. 

The importance to strive only for what we truly want, with uncluttered determination, focus and desire.

In less than two weeks he was able to prove to me that is truly possible to create exactly what we want or need at any particular time in our lives.

The importance of such thing is that it helps us to live a much more fulfilling life.

What he managed to achieve is giving me the last push towards creating what I truly desire in this life. 

The time we have on this earth as physical beings is for sure “finite”, we all die, we just don’t know when; so it cannot be wasted. Ou energy needs to be focused on all those things that truly matter and are valuable to us - and nothing else. I feel, this will help to create a much happier and healthier society.

Because we all value different things, this will still allow to have a system within societies that is a perfectly balanced organism where everyone plays its very special and unique role that will fulfil each individual life purpose. 

We can think of all the infinite number of cells in our body, how they work in continuous collaboration with each other by giving and taking and how each cell is equally important and equally essential.

It is only by working in such an harmonious way that the cells make it possible for our bodies to function. It is such a perfect and sophisticated system and yet we often undervalue it and forget to truly take care for it. 

The fact we don’t think about this, shows up in all the abusive behaviours we force onto such an intelligent structure to the point of destruction at times. 

So thank you my beautiful son for reminding me with your example to keep my aim focused on all those things I truly want to materialise in this life!

Life is too precious to live it without living it.

Death = Life

Recently at night, I’ve been reading a wee book of Eckart Tolle called “Stillness Speaks”. It contains a collection of 200 concise thoughts touching topics such as relationships, beyond the thinking mind,  silence and stillness, nature, suffering and the end of suffering, death and the eternal and a couple of more.

It is while reading the chapter on Death and the Eternal that I got the inspiration for this new blog, it was in particular something about death being a metamorphosis, another change in form that started an inner reflection on the topic.

Eckart Tolle mentioned that when we look closely at a decomposing tree as an example, we will discover that life is thriving as there are lots of microorganisms  at work - some we can see, some too small to be seen with the naked eye - while the molecules of the decomposing tree are slowly changing and rearranging themselves. 

I often walk through woodlands looking for peace, silence and beauty to capture forever with my camera; and I often like to move away from the main paths to explore areas that are wilder. It is often here that I can observe such an intimate relationship between life and death. Decaying matter lives beside new growth, new life, and everything seems to have a purpose. 

I have been looking at death more closely in the past few years with the help of a camera and my own introspection. Death is such a tabu in lots of western cultures and especially with me it is something that I have been so scared of and tried to avoid even thinking about it for a very long time. But then during the pre-menopause years the fear of dying increased and became very intense at times. Then I began to have dreams where I was dying, and they were vivid and very real. In these dreams I experienced a profound peace at ‘death, it was a real sense of relief of finally letting go of everything and there was no fear, no panic just a deep sense of tranquillity. 

Those dreams somehow helped me overcome that intense fear that was causing so much anxiety that was almost reaching the point of panic attacks.

I began to look at death with slightly different eyes and if during my walks I came across a carcass of an animal I would always stop and look at death directly and closely, pay a silent respect to the life that escaped that decaying carcass. I quietly looked for the beauty in what was left, often found in the form of textures, colours and shapes and compose a last tribute with my camera. This allowed me to have a closer look at what as humans have been conditioned to know and recognise as “Death”, the end of life.

But…is it truly the end of life? 

It is in nature that we can witness the marvel of plentiful life forms beside death.

So, if around death there is so much life activity, is there death at all?

Or, is death another metamorphosis of life forms?

Is life eternal then?

Is birth the opposite of death but death is not the opposite of life?

I feel the answers to these questions cannot be found by an intellectual mind!

Throughout the ages, philosophers, sages, poets from all over the world have been reflecting over the dreamlike quality of our existence. An existence that even though appears so solid and tangible it is yet so transient that it could vanish at any moment.

I have often experienced this dreamlike quality of my own existence with everything that has ended. Childhood, past relationships, travels, jobs, studies and even motherhood.

Anything that is not here present and available in this moment seems to acquire this misty kind of appearance and it doesn’t feel so solid or real anymore. 

All these experiences from the past are now stored as memory somewhere in the mind and are more or less accessible to us. They become part of our story that we share with others during our life time.

Every time an experience come to an end, it leaves behind a sensation of emptiness that most of the time we try to escape so not to feel it. Are these small deaths that prepare us for the final one if that is the end of all!?

Is death just the end of an experience that leaves space for a new one to come?

Then, Eckart Tolle mentions that there must be an essence that is real. There must be a consciousness in which the dream happens, otherwise how could it be experienced so real!?

From where does that consciousness come from?

Is it a creation of the body or, is it the one that creates the dream of the body, somebody?

………………………..it is in the silence that we will hear the answers!



Using Format